
                                   TELEGRAPH
                                       
   
   
   Entertainment for the discerning indie geek
   
   Published by the Telegraph Pioneers Of America: A partnership between
   Klang Industries and IndieCoRe
   
   Telegraph Transmission Three: The Search For Spock - October, 1994
   
In This Action-Packed Episode

     * My Forgotten Favorite, aka Whatever happened to... : Scene is
       crazy, bands start up, each and every day. I saw a new one just
       the other day, a special new band... uh, here's where Mark, Sean
       and Jodi take a look back at some indie faves from a few years ago
       and find out what happened. Did you see the drummer's hair?
     * Media Bullshit Watch: "The Alternative Beer"
     * IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The Net: hey, someone's bound to do
       this eventually - why not A Name You Can Trust (tm)? Free plugs
       for mailing lists, archives, etc. in this joint IL/TG project.
     * Live Review: Yep, it's a review in Telegraph. Said I wouldn't do
       it but I lied. Jawbox, Picasso Trigger, and Maximillian Colby, a
       night to remember?
     * The award-winning Coursing Thru The Wires
     * More more more
       
Note

   
   
   Tim Day missed his deadline, so his CMJ article will not be appearing
   in this issue. Check back next time. Sorry.
   
Introduction/Editorial Rant

   
   
   Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu
   
   Hey, look! It's a new issue of Telegraph and the last one was only
   something like six weeks ago! Oh, MY.
   
   You may notice that the plaintext version of this TG has nicer
   formatting than the last few. Well, net.audience, the reason for this
   is that TG is now being edited as hypertext, and then created to
   plaintext. I'm going to be concentrating on the hypertext (WWW)
   edition in the future, adding more graphics to it & etc. However, the
   plaintext mail version will always continue to exist. The formatting
   may be a little strange - especially the names of LPs, which show up
   as underlined and/or italics in HTML, but unformatted in plaintext.
   I'm trying to find a workable way to fix this.
   
   For those of you reaing this on WWW, you probably noticed that we have
   a new home on the Web at etext.org, who have hosted our FTP and Gopher
   archive for a while now. My departure from the Hopper project
   necessitated the move, but it actually works out for the best because
   now everything's in one place. Also, we are able to keep back issues
   in hypertext and plaintext formats.
   
   Mail addresses are the same as before - mail Sean for subscriptions
   and me for everything else. Depending on what etext.org management
   does, we may end up with a mailbox on their machine, but we'll worry
   about that if/when it happens.
   
   etext.org (as you may know) provides archives to many electronic
   'zines. Other than Telegraph, you can find quality stuff like
   Armadillo Culture, SuperStupidSlambook and the ever-popular Screams
   Of Abel on etext.org. Take a look around!
   
   Unfortunately, the price of progress is the 33% downsizing of
   Telegraph Pioneers Of America. I would like to thank Chris Karlof, who
   has capably archived Telegraph since its inception, for his services
   as Telegraph archivist. The new arrangement with etext.org has
   eliminated the need for an archivist. Chris will be continuing as
   Indie-List archivist, however. Thanks, Chris!
   
   Well, I'm now settled comfortably back into Harrisonburg, Virginia,
   quickly becoming known for something other than poultry processing
   (Harrisonburg, not me), although I don't know what... Oh, yeah, right,
   the live scene. Believe it or not, folks, this little farm town has
   become a return stop for touring bands. In the four weeks I've been
   here we've hosted Eggs, the Coctails, Nothing Painted Blue, the
   Woggles and Pitchblende, for starters. Next up: Jawbox and Picasso
   Trigger. Later, Archers of Loaf. This in a place where, two short
   years ago, the only place to play was in somebody's basement. Wow,
   man. (Actually this sort of makes sense; a lot of JMU's students are
   from Washington DC or its suburbs, and have (a) pretty diverse musical
   tastes and (b) an expectation that there'll be something good to
   watch. It's paid off, I think.)
   
   As I type this it's September 26, a Monday. This, of course, means
   that new major label releases will be out tomorrow. There's a bunch -
   R.E.M., Ween, Slayer (SLAYER! SLAYER! SLAYER! 6! 6! 6!), and many
   others, possibly including the long-delayed DGC reissues of Sonic
   Youth's Evol, Sister and Ciccone Youth: The Whitey Album. There is,
   however, one release that's being particularly hyped in these parts:
   the RCA Records Label Of BMG Music (that's the name of the label,
   check that used copy of the 700 Miles CD in any record shop in the
   USA) debut of Virginia's own Dave Matthews Band. Under The Table And
   Dreaming is its name, truly awful music is its game.
   
   Let me say first that I have nothing against Dave Matthews (or his
   band) personally. Early in his career, he and his band played here at
   JMU and I thought he was a nice guy. I understand that he still is, in
   spite of his enormous, nearly-rock-star-plateau success. And some of
   his sidemen (particularly sax man Leroi Moore) are ace musicians. Ol'
   Dave may, in fact, be proof that nice guys finish first. He sold 74
   gajillion copies of his DIY first CD, attracting the attention of
   various major labels and affording him the opportunity to hire Steve
   "Will Produce U2 For Food" Lillywhite to produce the new one. This
   tirade is not about Dave Matthews The Human Being.
   
   It's about Dave Matthews The Musician. He's annoying. Lord, is he
   annoying. That voice! That whiny, nasal,
   whasisface-from-Live-(The-Band)-affected howl. Do a few whippets, grab
   your throat, and say the five vowels very quickly. This is
   approximately what Davey boy sounds like. Now let's turn to his band.
   They can blow jazz. They can rock. They can, in the words of
   Klangfellow Mike Gangloff, play some HOUSE ROCKING BLUES!
   Unfortunately, they've decided to do that H.O.R.D.E. Boogie. (I think
   the DMB even played some dates on the last H.O.R.D.E. insurgence.
   Wouldn't surprise me a bit. Of course, since I didn't go, I don't
   know.) This naturally makes Dave & co. popular with a bunch of people
   whose musical tastes I generally can't abide:
     * frat boys
     * Deadheads
     * Phish heads (roly poly Phish heads, eat 'em up, yum!)
     * Michael Stipe
     * Every booking agent in Charlottesville
     * AAA radio
     * H.O.R.D.E. zombies
     * You get the idea.
       
   
   
   Well, there's very little I can do to deny Dave Matthews and band the
   mainstream success they will very likely achieve. I suppose I could
   cruise by the release party at Crossroads Concert Hall And Sports Bar
   (one of the few times I will say that "Trax" was a better name for
   this place) in Charlottesville tonight, and fire a flamethrower into
   the release party in progress. Advantages: Not only would this wipe
   out Dave, it would wipe out hundreds of his fans, and Shannon Worrell
   too (the less said about her the better.) Disadvantage 1: My friend
   Stephanie will be working there (her day job is at Plan 9 Records
   who's co-sponsoring the show) and would most likely be killed in the
   resulting inferno. Stephanie doesn't deserve to die. Disadvantage 2:
   This would make Dave a martyr. "Dave Matthews Died For Your Sins!" I
   don't think so. Disadvantage 3: Dying is a great career move. Ask Jim
   Croce, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison (why are all these guys named "Jim",
   anyway?) or you-know-who. Nah, as much as I'd like to, I can't do
   this. It's fucking futile.
   
   So, anyway, when you see that copy of Under The Table And Sucking Slag
   Battery's Dick on the record store shelves, or when the Dave Matthews
   Band rolls through your town, think of me and what I've said, and go
   see another band instead. (No one else playing? Go read a book.)
   
Forgotten Favorites

   
   
   Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu
   
   The vaguely definable shared experience we call "the indie scene" has
   a few notable characteristics. One is its dynamic state. The
   do-it-yourself ethic has been around for years, ostensibly since the
   Flamin' Groovies released the first widely successful DIY album back
   in 1968 or so. Of course, it took hold with the punk thing in the late
   70s, and has existed in some form or another since. Lately it's become
   pretty fashionable, even. The DIY spirit that typifies the world of
   indie music inspires hundreds of bands yearly. You wanna play music,
   you go right ahead and make yourself a band. Indie folks have always
   been good at publicity, too; between the numerous large and small
   'zines, word-of-mouth, and now Internet, it's not terribly hard to get
   noticed if you're doing something halfway decent. (Or something
   horribly wretched, actually, but that's another story.) People like
   seeking out new bands, and indie fans like to latch onto new bands
   that they like, much like fans of any other form of music.
   
   The fact that no one's waiting on The Man to create their music career
   for them results in a lot of new bands competing for indie listeners'
   attention on almost a daily basis. At WXJM Radio, we get several 45s
   and dozens of CDs a month from bands we've never heard of. When you're
   presented with a bunch of new bands and end up liking a handful of
   them, it's inevitable that some of the bands you used to be into will
   take a backseat to your new favorites. (Don't say you don't do this. I
   saw those Duran Duran records in your closet.)
   
   What happens to a band deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the
   sun? Or does it EXPLODE? Could go either way. There've been a few
   bands that I thought were 100% Hot Shit who putzed out and are
   probably working at El Taco now. On the other hand, there've been some
   bands that I wrote off early on who've become big stars. (I never,
   NEVER would've predicted the success of Alice In Chains, f'rinstance.)
   
   
   Okay, here's a look back at some bands/artists/records I was into a
   few years ago, and what happened to them.
     * Sexual Milkshake (1991): The presence of Harrisonburg's Sexual
       Milkshake, and their merrie band of fans & groupies, were what
       made my first year at JMU tolerable. SM weren't a great band
       musically -- OK, let's face it, most people think they were
       horrible -- but they successfully covered up for it with a
       fantastically calculated image. Going to a Sexy Milkshake show was
       like going to a carnival as presented by the Church of the
       Sub-Genius - wild costumes, films projected all over the place,
       etc. There was one show where they each had trampolines and they
       trampolined thru the entire set. OK, so the music sucked (they
       admit as much) but Sexual Milkshake were one of the most
       entertaining acts since vaudeville. Where They Are Now: They
       released one album, Sing-A-Long In Hebrew (Teenbeat, 1992) which
       was easily one of the most extravagantly packaged CDs ever.
       Vocalist Greg Allen moved away in 1992 and SM ground to a halt
       sometime thereafter. Bassist Jill Murphy hasn't been heard from
       since. Guitarist Todd Massie and drummer Chris Callahan stuck
       around Harrisonburg for a while, playing in a few bands. Massie
       moved to Portland, Oregon and is probably doing something or other
       out there. Callahan moved to Arlington and hit the Lollapalooza
       bigtime in Blastoff Country Style.
     * Courtney Love (1992): Like many other people, I stumbled onto
       Courtney Love (the band) through confusion with Courtney Love
       (lead singer of Hole.) I'd heard some of the Hole stuff and while
       it didn't excite me terribly, I was curious to see what would come
       next. So I was a little surprised to pull this 45 off the shelf,
       put it on and hear this acoustic pop stuff. It definitely wasn't
       what I expected, but I liked its simplicity and directness. I
       picked up the Olympia, Washington duo's three 45s which, along
       with some compilation tracks, comprise the Courtney Love
       discography, and thus began my investigation of the K label, which
       eventually led me to Beat Happening. Pretty cool, huh? Where They
       Are Now: Courtney Love's duo, Lois Maffeo and Pat Maley, called it
       a day sometime in 1992. Maffeo, who had moved to Washington DC
       previously, formed a new band called Lois, recorded two albums,
       Butterfly Kiss (K, 1992) and Strumpet (K, 1993) and was called a
       folksinger in Option. Maley still lives in Olympia where he runs
       the Yo-Yo studio and label, and recently hosted a multi-day,
       multi-band indie extravaganza called Yo-Yo A-Go-Go.
     * Therapy? (1992-3): If you look back at the Spring, 1993 WXJM
       Program Guide, you can see my review of Therapy?'s major-label
       debut, Nurse. I noted that the public was tiring of MTV grunge,
       and would soon be demanding something a little more substantial. I
       predicted that these Killing Joke-influenced Irish lads would be
       the proverbial Next Big Thing. Guess I was wrong. Where They Are
       Now: Nurse (A&M, 1992) garnered a lot of critical praise but
       didn't sell very many copies. Ditto for the followup, Troublegum
       (A&M, 1994.) Maybe it was that scary cover art on the
       "Teethgrinder" 45... Therapy? are still around and will probably
       continue to make records, although I seriously doubt their next LP
       will be recorded for A&M. (Therapy? did release an album,
       Caucasian Psychosis, on Quarterstick/Touch & Go before they got
       signed by A&M, but very few people noticed then, either.)
     * Sliang Laos (1993): Richmond, Virginia has long been known for two
       musical exports: GWAR, and instrumental, jazz-influenced rock
       bands (Alter Natives, Hotel X, King Sour, and perhaps most
       notoriously, Breadwinner, kings of the carefully measured,
       spastically polyrhythmic form of music that became known as
       "math-rock.") Sliang Laos, while not directly affiliated with any
       of the above groups, nonetheless uncomfortably (VERY
       uncomfortably) fused GWAR's cartoony metal sludge (albeit without
       the ridiculous costumes) with the noise and morse-code patterns of
       math-rock. The result? Where They Are Now: Sliang Laos cut a 45,
       "Alabama Ego" (Tenderizer, 1993), and made appearances on a few
       compilations, culminating in a Sliang Laos track appearing on an
       Invisible Records compilation, Can You See It Yet? They play live
       about once every six months; however, the dueling egos (six or
       seven of them) keep them from assembling in one room without
       killing each other, and people are afraid to ask them when they're
       going to get off their butts and do something new. Many of the
       Sliangers have side projects which sound nothing like Sliang Laos,
       notably the techno/ambient band Somatron.
       
   
   
   So there you go; four bands that I thought were going to do big
   things. Courtney Love definitely had their day. Therapy? enjoy some
   limited success. Sexy Milkshake broke up before they could sell out.
   Sliang Laos hate each other too much to try. What's the moral of the
   story? I dunno. Some people make it, some don't. It's hard to predict.
   
What Ever Happened To __________?

   
   
   Sean Murphy, grumpy@access.digex.net
   
   NOTE: Before I launch into another "controversial" piece of writing,
   I'd like to make a formal apology to all members of the bands Scarce
   and Juicy and to Steve Silverstein for my factual errors in Telegraph
   #2. While I stand by my personal assessment of the music I saw
   displayed by Juicy on one occasion and the stories related to me by
   other friends whose musical opinions I value (i.e. they weren't doing
   anything remotely interesting or worthwhile on stage), the more
   derogatory remarks or insinuations were not specifically intended.
   
   Specifically, I apologize for alleging that Juicy was "merely content"
   to mimic Bratmobile's style and devoid of any heart or seriousness.
   Additionally, my error in calling Joyce "a member of Juicy" was a
   substantial one, particularly for someone who 1.) has been informed
   otherwise in the past; and 2.) places a significant value on the
   factual accuracy of written material, as those who witnessed my
   editorial stint at the Indie List [and the overabundance of square
   brackets during that time] may recall.
   
   DISCLAIMER: Any questions or concerns about the content of the
   following article should be directed to me at grumpy@access.digex.net.
   I do take responsibility for my writing, including its factual
   content, its potential pretensions, and some of its possible
   implications. Unintended inferences are the responsibility of the
   person doing the inferring, however, not mine. I would be happy to
   discuss individual points at greater length through private e-mail.
   
   [ This would be a good time to remind everyone that opinions presented
   in TG are those of the individual authors, and are not necessarily my
   opinions, unless I wrote the text in question. If you have a beef with
   an author, take it to them, not me. - Mark ]
   
   OK, enough of that. (Guess who's supposed to be studying for the LSAT
   but writing this instead...) Let's get down to business.
   
   "What ever happened to... ?"
   
   It's a nice song lyric, and a decent question to ask every once in a
   while. Perhaps just as important as the question, though, are the
   reasons the question exists - why things which seemed
   great/wonderful/huge just disappear sometimes. (Yes, rhetorical
   questions are a bad way to start essays, but nobody's grading this, so
   fuck it. It's an easy intro, at any rate...)
   
   A couple days ago, I was listening to a tape I had made early in 1991,
   during my first semester as a "full time" college DJ. I didn't own any
   of the stuff I taped, though I wanted to have my own copies of each
   record (and I still do, oddly enough, after picking up all but 2 of
   the culprits). The stuff on side two was King Kong (Movie Star 7"),
   Ed's Redeeming Qualities (Ed's Day 7"), Superchunk (4 songs from the
   first LP), Dinosaur Jr. (The Wagon 7"), and King Missile (two tracks
   from "Mystical Shit"). [Side one was Funkadelic's Maggot Brain and
   although it's a wonderful album, it doesn't really enter this
   discussion - we all know where George Clinton is right now...] And
   Mark's "suggested topic" just hit me. What the fuck happened to all
   those bands since I made that tape, considering that I more or less
   don't care about what they do at this point?
   
   First, a quick rundown of the bands:
     * King Kong - released a second single, then the enormously popular
       Old Man On The Bridge LP on Homestead (I can't begin to explain
       the number of requests I and my fellow DJs have gotten for the
       "heba heba heeba hobba hoba hooba hobba" song). After a tour in
       support of that LP, Ethan Buckler broke up the band and then
       proceeded to re-form it with a new cast of characters, leading to
       the incredibly disappointing Funny Farm LP on the Drag City label.
     * Ed's Redeeming Qualities - have a couple LPs, have broken up as
       far as I know. The unfortunate death of one member placed a
       definite strain on the band, and the songwriting deteriorated -
       demented classics like "Lawn Dart" and "The Boy I Work With" gave
       way to dull songs notable only for the use of ukeleles and violin.
       Carrie Bradley still makes guest appearances on other records
       (like the Breeders).
     * Superchunk - became the absolute darlings of the independent world
       (this was the pre-Slanted & Enchanted era) based on "Slack
       Motherfucker." Put out a number of great singles, each time
       followed by less successful albums. While I've been complaining
       this point for ages, I still think that Jon Wurster's drumming
       gets mixed WAY TOO HIGH in live settings, making it impossible to
       distinguish songs from each other. This basic formula (great
       single, dull LP) will probably persist until the band breaks up.
     * Dinosaur Jr. - got signed to Reprise. Put out one somewhat
       interesting LP (Green Mind), followed by a dull one (Where You
       Been), and now apparently have another new one that I'll hear on
       the radio shortly and probably not bother buying. Lou Barlow had
       already played his last with J. before "The Wagon" was released,
       making the steady decline in Dino-output a potential case of "J.'s
       got nobody to fight with - the lack of tension has led him to
       produce boring shit not worthy of the name Dinosaur."
     * King Missile - got signed based on the strength of their
       "underground hit," "Jesus Was Way Cool." Changed the band line-up
       and musical sound to the point where kids will slam at their shows
       without thinking about it, even when the band decides to cover
       Elton John's "Love Lies Bleeding." (No joke - I witnessed this in
       March of '93 at the 9:30 Club in DC. Frightening.) They're relying
       too much on John S. Hall to make up another couple of stories that
       will have the mass appeal of "Jesus..." - and I'm still somewhat
       surprised that the record label pushed "Detachable Penis" in this
       age of FCC hysteria about indecency and obscenity - this song
       breaks the innuendo line a few times... Apparantly, they have a
       new LP, too - I'll race you to Tower Records...
       
   
   
   Scorecard - 4 bands still active. 2 signed to major labels. 1 1/2
   still marginally interesting (I think Ethan Buckler's still got a
   trick or two left up his sleeve if he picks up the damn guitar again,
   and I'll get back to Superchunk in a moment, but neither one rates a
   full band-point).
   
   For 5 bands which seemed really exciting and interesting to me at the
   beginning of 1991, a "survival" rate of 35% isn't so hot. Of course,
   this may say more about my ability to choose good bands than anything
   else, but in 1991, I would bet that many other people were expecting
   good things from these same bands.
   
   Superchunk is the most interesting case of the five, because they
   illustrate a phenomenon that I'm finally beginning to understand - the
   "singles" band. The Buzzcocks and The Jam were singles bands. Pet
   Clark was a singles singer. While full LPs from such performers can be
   entertaining in toto, more often it is a collection of specific songs
   that sparks the most interest. I listen to Singles Going Steady much
   more than I listen to A Different Kind Of Tension. For Superchunk, I
   think their true defining moments come in 7" doses - Slack
   Motherfucker, My Noise, Cast Iron, Mower, What Do I, Cool, Seed Toss,
   Precision Auto. For this reason, Tossing Seeds (and its inevitable
   future companion) has a place right next to Singles Going Steady (and
   the forthcoming Tsunami singles comp) in my heart - that's where the
   winners are, without it being an explicit "greatest hits" package. In
   a difference over the days of Pet Clark, however, it's not a label
   executive declaring "we need a hit single before we release an album"
   but rather a quirk of fate that makes this all possible. [I'm obvously
   going to allow for the occasional great song to slip by onto the LP
   format - Not Tomorrow being my favorite example for Chunk - but in
   general the LPs ride on the singles at best and bury them at worst.]
   
   Essentially, some bands just aren't meant to make LPs. When they
   persist in doing so, they risk losing the attention of the people most
   inclined to like them. I don't think all the bands listed above were
   singles bands - Dinosaur wasn't, and King Kong's first LP was a
   cohesive, solid listening experience. Superchunk is a singles band (or
   rather, Mac is a single-writer - looking over his expanse of recorded
   output, I find it much easier to extract songs than full recorded
   units, from Slushpuppies to Wwax to my beloved Bricks to Portastatic.)
   Extended listening can become tiresome, and this isn't an effect of
   MTV or any other cultural phenomenon.
   
   At the same time, there are numerous counterexamples to the singles
   band. MX-80 Sound LPs should be listened to in their entirety. The
   same is true for Antietam. Husker Du. (If you still haven't done this,
   listen to Zen Arcade, all four sides, in one sitting, preferably at
   high volume and with lots of caffeine accessible. It's a truly
   mindblowing experience to reach the piano interludes or the false end
   siren in "Recurring Dreams" and then get kicked back into the frenzy.)
   Rodan (R.I.P., and may all their individual musical endeavors in the
   future be as successful). Lots of jazz should be taken in full blocks
   - A Love Supreme, a significant portion of Charlie Mingus's stuff,
   Pharoah Sanders, Anthony Braxton, Eric Dolphy. I can't imagine
   listening to excerpts from Terry Riley's "Descending Moonshine
   Dervishes" or "A Rainbow in Curved Air" although the shorter of those
   two pieces is 18 minutes (the longer is 52 minutes). Ditto for Glass's
   "Einstein On The Beach" - a major part of the effect of the work is
   the saturation of repetition and arpeggiation.
   
   What is the point, you ask? Well, perhaps bands should do some sort of
   self-evaluation every so often. They should look at what they've done,
   what they've been satisfied with, what has interested them the most.
   I'm not saying that a "singles band" can't make a coherent, satisfying
   LP. (Superchunk's first LP was a good one, not just because it had
   "Slack MF" and "My Noise" on it.) Bands should recognize their
   strengths, however, and while they shouldn't rest on their laurels,
   it's still worth knowing what you're good at and occasionally sticking
   to it or going back to it. Neil Young has tried a million and one
   different musical experiments, but every so often he takes the time to
   record with Crazy Horse. It's not always perfect, but the musical
   environment "Neil Young with Crazy Horse" is a known commodity where
   it's safe and certain types of songs will essentially "work,"
   particularly the epic guitar stuff (though that ploy doesn't work on
   Sleeps With Angels). It's not just a gesture for the fans, it's not
   cashing in (unlike the "reunion" tours of late - why the fuck do we
   need a fucking Eagles tour with $100+ tickets at the box office?),
   it's a return to an accustomed, enjoyable musical expression.
   
   So, I've rambled far off the intended path, come to no real
   conclusions, and wasted a significant amount of time (both mine in
   writing and yours in reading). I'm bound to come back to these ideas
   again (both "whatever happened to" and the idea of singles vs. lp
   bands) but maybe I'll have more coherent points to make next time.
   Maybe we can get a discourse going on the more philosophical aspects
   of music instead of x number of people spitting their thoughts into
   the wind.
   
   Whatever it all means, at least there was music then that made a
   difference. Maybe there are a couple bands in the world which have had
   the plain goal of making one single and then disappearing, but if
   someone heard that single, then the band filled its role. Maybe I'm
   full of shit. These issues aren't changing, though - it's just the
   examples pulled or the circumstances under which they're revisited
   that vary, based on writers and their experiences. But if anyone out
   there has that Ed's Redeeming Qualities single, I'd still like to have
   a copy - "Lawn Dart" still makes me both laugh and cry and that's a
   good feeling to have sometimes.
   
Nostalgia Is Beautiful

   
   
   Jodi Shapiro, jodi@dsm.fordham.edu
   
   There are a lot of records in my room, my mom's house (taking up her
   closet space, she yells), my dad's house, my office. A lot of them
   haven't been played in a long while for one reason or another. Some
   are just unpacked from my last move (two years ago, if you must know).
   Some are truly forgotten and my kids will find them and say "Hey mom!
   You liked these guys?".
   
   Then there's the ones that I can't get to because they're in my mom's
   house upstate (though I couldn't live without Tar's Jackson so I
   bought it on CD), and I didn't have a turntable until a week or so
   ago, so I didn't bother to bring them to my apartment. I fished it out
   of the garbage and re-wired some things. It works like new, and now I
   wish I had these four records with me:
     * Dirt, "Cleft On The Chin, Devil Within" 7": John Forbes is in
       Mount Shasta now, but Dirt was where he started yelling. They were
       pretty much ignored when they were around, maybe because they were
       based in Atlanta, not the hotbed of musical scenes. Eventually
       they mutated into Seersucker, put out a full album, then imploded.
       I only know of one other person who liked Dirt, and that's Steve
       Albini (gratuitious name-drop) and I'm not sure what that means. I
       got this single when I was working at Rockpool, and I played it
       every day for about three months. I hummed it in class. The
       b-side, "Booger" was cool too. Everyone thought I was crazy, which
       made me feel better.
     * In Tua Nua, The Long Acre: Okay, it's wussy Celtic pop, but "Don't
       Fear Me Now" was an aces song, as was the rest of the album. It's
       probably the only album out of my "I love U2 so I have to buy all
       these other Irish records too" phase that I actually miss. I
       bought it on the way home one day, in The Wiz, because I had heard
       one of the songs on the radio and liked it. The girl's voice was
       really beautiful. As was the custom with bands I liked in high
       school, they were destined to obscurity. I think this was their
       only album.
     * Sad Sack, "Heinous Bitch" 7": I got this from two guys in Albany,
       Jack and Dave. They ran a record store named ERL and later started
       the record label of the same name. I'd spend about $100 a week
       there, using my food money for as many singles as I could afford.
       Dave and Jack always took care of me, giving me credit, slipping
       free records in my bag, special ordering stuff. The store is gone
       now (or so I'm told), but Dave and Jack are out there somewhere.
       Sad Sack was the third or fourth record ERL put out, pre-Mosquito
       and Jad Fair stuff. It was poorly recorded, cheaply pressed and
       had a handmade cheesy cover. The singer sounds like he's drowning,
       and the drum machine sounds tinny. The song is timeless, with it's
       chorus of "Heinous bitch! Fucking witch!". There's a real neat
       guitar hook buried somewhere in this sludge, and I can still play
       it if I really concentrate. I saw a copy of this in Reckless
       (Chicago) a few weeks ago and tried to convince my friend Nuuj
       that it was worth getting. It's still there. What a pity.
     * Olivelawn, any and all: Now they're broken up, because they all
       hated each other's guts. Some are in fluf, another great band I
       never shut up about. Their "Instant Punk Rock Song Just Add Water"
       single is indespensable. I've owned their first album a total of
       three times (well, 2 1/2 because one got stolen out of a friend's
       car). So they were derivative punk rock. They still fried my
       burger.
       
   
   
   There's lots more. Like a lot of people, I started really buying
   records when I was in high school. Nobody else ever liked what I
   liked, and if they did, they never admitted it. Lots of stuff I liked
   back then has stuck with me, and I eventually found other people who
   had those records too. Some of those bands are regarded as
   'influential' now, which makes me feel sort of smug when someone says
   "Hey, these guys were really cool- -where was I?". I just sit there
   quietly and think about the day I went to the CBGB record canteen and
   bought it.
   
The Alternative Beer (non-musical article, but with a humorous slant)

   
   
   Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu
   
   I guess it was bound to happen eventually. Parntership For A Drug-Free
   America contributors Anheuser-Busch, manufacturers of a popular
   recreational drug called Budweiser, has realized what Taco Bell did a
   couple years back: that they better start marketing to that Generation
   X pretty damn quick!
   
   The result: Bud Dry, one of the absolute worst beers I've ever had
   (and that includes Milwaukee's Beast), is now marketed as "The
   Alternative Beer." Jangle-pop radio commercials,
   win-a-trip-to-the-Reading-Festival contests, blah blah blah. Drink Bud
   Dry, they say, and you'll be a young, cool, totally-with-it
   alternadude/alternababe.
   
   I'll approach this from several sides:
    1. Principled Rant: Who'd be drinking an "alternative beer"? Right,
       alternadudes and alternababes. How many alternadweebs do you know
       that are of age? I don't know any. (At least, I don't know anyone
       of age that would dare call themselves "alternative." It kinda
       dates you, ya know.) Given the fact that hundreds of teens
       (alternative or not) die or are injured in alcohol-related
       incidents each year, I'd say it's pretty damn irresponsible of
       Anheuser-Busch to market to a hugely underage demographic. I got
       nothing against beer - I drink, copiously on occasion, never to
       inebriation - but there's enough pressure on kids to drink without
       this "alternative" shit.
    2. Indie-centric Rant: Bud Dry? A major-label beer? Alternative?
       Fuck, no! I ain't buying no corporate beer! (And that includes
       those psuedo-indie beers like Icehouse.) Bartender! A round of
       Yuengling Porter for me and my indie-punk friends! (Shit. The Man
       just keeps eating into every last bit of the independent world.
       Damn. Next thing you know, Sam Adams'll sign a bottling deal with
       Miller.)
    3. The Pragmatic Approach: Well, I guess Bud Dry could be an
       alternative beer. I mean, if they were out of everything else,
       including Oly (it's the^H^H^H water!) and I really needed to
       drink, Bud Dry would be my only alternative.
    4. Rebuttal Of The Pragmatic Approach: I'd never be *that* desperate.
    5. Budget-Conscious Approach: Hey, wait a minute. Bud Dry's a
       "premium" beer (it costs more money.) Alternative folks ain't got
       no cash. They just spent it all on Lollapalooza. They can't afford
       nothing but Beast. Man, Beast's the alternative beer. No question
       about it.
    6. And finally, Mark's honest opinion: If you ask me, the Radioactive
       Rat Brewery 1993 Pumpkin Brew was a truly alternative beer. (What
       the hell brewing process was that, Mike?) Actually, I think the
       whole idea is fucking ludicrous. It's a good thing we Generation
       X'ers are supposed to be immune to advertising, eh? Whatever.
       
IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The Internet seeks listings

   
       
       Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu
       
       Indie-List Communications Research (IndieCoRe, aka ILIJ) is
       currently seeking listings for IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The
       Internet. This joint IL/TG project will create a net-accessible
       list of indie-related resources on Internet: mailing lists,
       newsgroups, WWW pages, FTP archives, label/band addresses, etc.
       The purpose is twofold: (1) to help indie fans on the Net find new
       stuff to check out, and (2) to help the people operating these
       resources get some publicity. We seek your input - take a look
       through your hotlist and tip us off to your favorite indie
       net.stuff. We have a few stipulations:
          + Resources must be available to the general public. Also, this
            guide will be widely distributed over Internet, so please
            don't ask for a listing for a resource that's averse to this
            sort of publicity (there are some out there - if you're not
            sure, check with the owner first.)
          + Label/band addresses will be listed only if directly
            requested by the owner of the address. That is, an address
            won't be listed unless the person who owns that account sends
            mail (from that account) requesting a listing. This is to
            respect people's decisions as to whether or not they want to
            receive mail (and how much.)
          + Include a short (5 lines or less) description to go along
            with the listing. Be objective.
          + Anything indie-related is acceptable. Listings will only be
            rejected if the editors deem them unrelated (in some way or
            another) to indie music.
   
       
       If you'd like to have something listed, send the appropriate
       information to mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu. We will continue
       accepting listings through the end of November.
       
Live Review: Jawbox/Picasso Trigger/Maximillian Colby

   
       
       Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu
       
       Earlier I mentioned that the next show to arrive in Harrisonburg
       (at the time that article was written) would be Jawbox with
       Picasso Trigger, sponsored by WXJM. Well, they came, they played,
       and here's what happened.
       
       Opening the show were local hardcore heroes Maximillian Colby. Two
       old friends of mine, neither of whom I've talked to lately, are in
       the group. They played the sort of dense, heavy emo HC that's all
       the vogue around here lately. A little bit Gorilla Biscuits, a
       little bit Fugazi and a little bit just plain screamin'. Couldn't
       understand a word they said, but I enjoyed their set. (MC are
       releasing a record on California's Nervous Wreckids some time soon
       - look for it.)
       
       I was planning on skipping Picasso Trigger - they've never really
       floated my boat, so to speak - but decided to stay and give them
       another chance. Their Southern-fried punk was OK but not
       memorable, except for the idiot stagedivers who knocked over two
       light towers. (WXJM's faculty advisor came to this show, but
       fortunately she left before the lights came down.) PT's best songs
       were the ones when singer Kathy pulled out a trumpet or trombone,
       but even then they just sounded like Geezer Lake on ephedrine. I
       dunno - they didn't fit very well with the other two bands and
       they had a bad attitude overall.
       
       Jawbox - well, I like each Jawbox LP more than I liked the
       previous one, and apparently that pattern's going to work for live
       shows too. I saw Jawbox a few years ago (in between Grippe and
       Novelty) and thought they were OK. This time they were great. J.
       Robbins (gtr/vox) seemed a little tired (especially when
       chastising the afore-mentioned stagedivers) but Bill Barbot
       (gtr/vox) made up for it, taping his set list to a fan in the
       front row and cracking jokes throughout. Kim Coleatta (bs) was the
       most fun to watch, though - during the first few songs she had
       this goofy "Uh, how're we doing?" look on her face, followed by an
       equally goofy "Aw, thanks guys" look between songs. (She also
       jumped around a lot, like Laura from Superchunk - is this a female
       bassist's thing? Beats me.) Jawbox played several songs from their
       big-time LP For Your Own Special Sweetheart as well as a few songs
       from earlier LPs and a couple of new ones. They may be some huge
       rock stars now (I heard some high school kids went and got
       autographs) but they're as personable as ever, and they put on a
       fantastic set, Atlantic or not. (So all the people whining about
       them leaving Dischord can shut up. Now.)
       
       Final count: Two great bands, one OK band, two light towers down,
       one stagediver injury, and the radio station turned a profit for
       the first time ever (at one of these shows.) Awesome.
       
Coursing Thru The Wires

   
       
       (TG's cool stuff of the month)
       
  MARK
          + LaBradford, "Julius" (Merge)
          + Slint, untitled 10" (Touch & Go)
          + Stereolab, Mars Audiac Quintet (Elektra)
          + The Fall, Middle Class Revolt (Matador)
          + Slug, The Out Sound (PCP)
          + Brise-Glace, When In Vanitas... (Skin Graft)
          + Noise Addict, "Young And Jaded" (Grand Royal)
          + Lync, These Are Not Fall Colors (K)
          + Smog, Burning Kingdom (Drag City)
          + East River Pipe, Shining Hours In A Can (Ajax)
          + Very Pleasant Neighbor, The Boy With Only One Head (Big Ten
            Rex/D-Tox)
          + Muppet Voice zine (contact johnson@mail.ph.ac.ed.uk for info)
          + Talk Soup (E! Entertainment Television)
          + Disney's decision not to build a theme park in Haymarket, VA
            (population <1000)
          + URouLette
          + Sam & Max Hit The Road CD-ROM (LucasArts)
          + Fruitopia Lemonade Love & Hope (Coca-Cola - ditch the
            hippy-shit name, d00dz)
          + Lettuce
            
  SEAN
   
       
       Hmmm... tougher choices this time due to less influx of new
       music... lots of evenings spent with my trusty Mac and my stereo
       have led to a renewed look through my record collection...
          + Television Personalities, Live at Forum Enger (Pastell)
          + Bullet LaVolta, Swandive ("some icky major label")
          + Death of Samantha, "Strungout On Jargon" (Homestead)
          + The Clean, Compilation (Homestead/Flying Nun) - I'm still
            meaning to get the CD version with about 30 more songs, but
            hearing "Slug Song" first thing in the morning is a good way
            to avoid the "wrong side of the bed" blues.
          + The Skatalites, "Guns of Navarone"
          + Rolando and the Soul Brothers, "Phoenix City"
          + The Gaylads, "Stop Making Love"
          + Rita Marley, "The Pied Piper" [All these songs are on a great
            compilation called Club Ska '67 (Mango) and they make me
            dance, not just bob my head over/under/sideways/down, which
            finally brings me to...]
          + Yardbirds, Great Hits of... (Atlantic)
            
  JODI
          + fluf, Home Improvements : It's old, yeah, but these guys make
            music that reminds me of the days when I could actually dance
            a little. I saw that horrible Tower Records magazine compare
            them to Husker Du, which isn't really fair to both bands. O's
            voice is a lot like Burton Cummings'.
          + Polonium, Safe: Some of my old next door neighbors are in
            this band, and the tape is 45 minutes of Earth/Melvins/Zeni
            Geva inspired stuff. I listen to it while I back up the
            systems here and it makes the time go by much quicker. They
            do a cover of ZG's "Autobody" live too. $4 from 2486 Hughes
            Ave. #7, Bronx, NY 10458.
          + The Baffler #5: I dare you to read it all in one sitting. No,
            I double dog dare you.
          + Pulp Fiction: All I can say is Samuel L. Jackson should be
            nominated for an Academy Award. Sure there was a lot of hype,
            but it's all true.
          + Sound Master: A little freeware program for the Macintosh
            that lets you assign sounds to different keys, like the
            delete or escape keys, as well as grow/shrink windows,
            errors, etc. It's great for the clueless in your office, who
            will call you over and say "My mac hates me, it belched when
            I emptied the trash!"
            
Credits

          + Publishers: Telegraph Pioneers Of America
          + Editor: Mark Cornick
          + Senior Writers: Sean Murphy, Jodi Shapiro
          + Postmaster: Sean Murphy
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Telegraph archives

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          + gopher://gopher.etext.org/
   
       
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