           Ú-Ä-ù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Ä-¿
           ³       welcome to dancing monica 'zine issue one       ³
           À-Ä-ù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Äù-Ä-Ù
                                                    disgust@vnet.net

           "what's this about?"

           this is about absolutely nothing.  i'm bored, i have no
           'zine to write for (nobody likes my writings), and i don't
           really have a life.  let's eliminate the "really" from the
           last line to clear it up for you a little bit.  i DON'T 
           have a life.  
           
           let's see... i've been bbsing since the age of 11«.  i 
           discovered the internet about 6-7 months ago, so i'm
           relatively new to the net.  i've enjoyed internet because
           so many files are within grasp now.  i used to have to
           call LD for ansi packs and such, but now i can get them
           off a site or #ansi.  i also discovered 'zines, which 
           have been keeping me up past 2am 'cause i've been reading
           so many of them.  

           if lit = poems then lit = sucks.  i mean, i like writing 
           poetry, but reading them in an ANSI pack is really boring.
           partly because most of the 'poets' can't write worth a shit
           and partly because it's just boring.  if there are any
           stories included in the pack, i'll read them and that's usually
           pretty interesting ("rage" by valgamon is probably my all
           time favorite.  reminds me of a stephen king short story i
           read once).

           anyways i'm rambling on and on so now i think i'm going to
           include a few of my writings which all of the 'zine editors
           have decided not to use.

           ---------------------------------------------------------
                                    
                                    religion


        Here's the scenerio--I'm on a trip to Europe with about 3 kids from
  my school as well as a Science Teacher who's a bit strange.  The trip is
  being conducted by the EF Tours (educational foundation).  I've just taken
  a seven hour flight and I've landed in Amsterdam.  I'm very excited, but
  also very tired.  I am told that I will be meeting 25+ new people here who
  will also be part of my tour.
        Seven of them had already arrived, they were from Michigan.  A very
  cool bunch of people.  I was told that the rest of the group would arrive
  in about four hours.  In the meantime, the tour director has allowed me to
  go to our hotel and shower.  Yay.
        Four hours later I meet the rest of the group.  Half of them are from
  very small scattered towns in Canada.  The other half is from a Christian
  based school in Newfoundland.  I have no problem with religion, I consider
  myself a religious guy, just in a different unique way.  There are only
  two things I cannot stand about religion--other religion bashing and
  extremists.
        That night we got to "meet" everybody.  I don't think it was such a
  good idea, for I got in a religious discussion with a bunch of extremist
  kids (i call them the christian coalition).  They were all 15-17 years old
  and were damning me to hell.
        Alright, it started off with them asking my name and then my faith.
  I replied that I didn't believe in organized religion, so I was a bit of a
  loner.  They exchanged strange glances and then asked me if I had to choose
  a religion, what would it be?  I wasn't sure so I replied,"buddism/hindu"..
        I was being a bit sarcastic but they all acted as if I had dropped
  the bomb.  I asked them if they thought Christianity was the only religion
  that was "right".  They all replied no, they had nothing against the beliefs
  of other religions.  I wanted to test them on this, I didn't believe them..
  So I told them of a friend I had that was jewish.  (i made up this "friend")
  I told them that he was considering a switch to Christianity, but he wasn't
  sure.
        They started picking apart the jewish faith, telling me that they were
  all stupid in believing that Jesus was just a "good prophet" and not the son
  of god.  They said to me,"how can you consider someone good when they lie to
  you about being the prophet of god?".  This made little sense to me, so I
  just said,"umm you have a point (yeah right).. thanks, I'll tell him what
  you've just told me"...  I didn't bother picking out any imperfections that
  I see in the Christian religion (Moses lived to be how many years old? 600?)
        I said this in hopes that they'd leave me alone.  They didn't though,
  they seemed fascinated that I wasn't Christian.  They wanted to pick me
  apart, I could feel it.  They then asked the question that I'm always asked
  by Christian people.  I think it's printed in the back of the bible for them
  to ask to non-believers..
        "Do you believe in the big bang theory?"
        I'm personally not sure whether I do or not, but I responded yes for
  some odd reason.  I think I wanted to start a battle/discussion of Science
  vs. Religion.
        "The theory seems ok to us except for one small thing... who CREATED
  the stuff that blew up?" they asked me.
        Now how the fuck should I know?  but I knew what they were getting at.
  so being the blasphemus (can't even spell the word) guy I am, I responded
  "umm you want me to say that GOD created it, eh?  well I could say that, but
  let's take this a little further.. if god created the stuff that blew up,
  who created god?  did he have a father?  and who created him?"
        This kinda took them off guard and they really couldn't say anything
  except,"you must believe!  you must have faith...".  The teacher from their
  school that had brought them on the trip cut in and told me "god tells the
  truth, you must believe.."  then they left.
        Umm.. I don't want to put down Christianity, I just want to put down
  narrow-minded Christians.  I personally don't think that any religion is
  wrong, I just think the way people express it is wrong.  I mean, look at
  the Crusades.  God doesn't like killing, right?  Thou Shall Not Kill, eh?
  So why start a war in his name?  
        People are confused.  People need faith.  I agree.  People need
  something to believe in.  I think it should be a private display of 
  affection though.  I pray every night, I believe in God, I believe in Jesus.
  I feel like they understand me and hear me out.  I feel like they agree with
  me.  Who's to say that one religion is better than another?  That's probably
  my biggest gripe.

           ---------------------------------------------------------
                                    
                                   reminders

        
        Reminders of the past.  I hate coming across them, because my past
  has ummm been a waste of time...a waste of mind.  Actually, the girls of
  my past have been a waste of time.  I just came across something one of
  them gave me before I went on Spring Break vacation (i wasn't going to
  be around to watch them cheat on me).
        The object in question is this piece of shit furry thing.  She says
  that she bought it in Italy.  God, I hope not.  It's ugly , and worst of 
  all, she must have spilt her perfume on it or something cause it smells 
  just like her.  Actually, she's the type of girl who would spill it there 
  on purpose so I would think of her before I passed out from the fumes.
        Well, it's been a year since the two of us went out, and I just found
  it in my desk.  I know this sounds too good to be true (note the sarcasm),
  but her boyfriend just broke up with her.  I received a call from her
  yesterday.  She wanted to apologize for being a bitch while we were going
  out (took her a whole year to apologize).  She also wanted to tell me that
  she had a new outlook on love.  She said it was similar to my own opinions.
        "Why are you telling me this?" was flashing over and over in my head,
  but I'm too nice of a guy to say anything.  So I put up with her shit, 
  occasionally nodding off, until she had to go... I thought that was the
  last of her, but she called me again today to "continue our (one-sided)
  discussion".  
        My point is--throw out any reminders of shit you don't want to 
  remember.  It'll come back and annoy the shit out of you.

  "there's traps inside us all and the night is so tall" - silver jews

           ---------------------------------------------------------

           ok i admit, those kind of sucked, but think about it.  i 
           haven't written in over two years and those are my second
           and first attempts at writing (in that order).  oh well..
           i'm just really bored.  i wouldn't mind a little feedback,
           like how i could improve and such.  man this sounds like
           i'm in slow motion.  perhaps that's just how i'm feeling
           right now.  write e-mail to the address at the top of this
           text file to send comments/death threats/etc...


           greets:
                                                 
                   black francis (pez is great), edicius (see, i spelled
                   it right, jonas rocks), stephen malkmus (yeah right,
                   like you'll read this.  this is one of the most well
                   read boys out there).

